Aaaah, don’t you just hate it whenever you bring that hot, meaty,
creamy pizza to your mouth, it dangles downwards, spilling all those
sumptuous toppings (one wouldn’t mind if it’s anchovies, but the
mushrooms! the mushrooms!)?

You can compare such a scene to a dude who’s lookin’ for someone to
give fabulous head. He founds a prospect, a “pretty ho” in some sleazy
alley. Then, when he’s about to let the “pretty ho” take in his “Vienna
Sausage,” he suddenly loses the “excitement” when he finds out that the
“pretty ho” he just hired turns out to be a well-disguised hombre.

Fret no more! There’s no need for you to get a knife or two to
slice that large chunk o’ pizza or sausage of yours (no pun intended)!
This Pizza Fork will definitely leave your hands greaseless!

And that transparent slicer can double as a magnifying glass
especially to those with eye problems who still can’t figure out if
that “pretty ho” they just picked up is a genuine slut or not. If not,
well, the fork will handle the rest. WARNING! It might get bloody.