Sick of the weeks-long oppression of stingrays over humanity, which began with the “tail-in-cheek” killing of Steve Irwin off the coast of Australia, some very bold human beings (fine, fearless warriors, I presume) have begun a guerilla onslaught against the evil stingray oppressors.

And if these carcasses with lopped-off tails indicate anything, it’s that the score seems to be:

Humans: 10

Stingrays: 1

You can also participate in this “all-out war” by playing as Terri Irwin doing a Rambo — a must-do for angry fans and a lot cheaper than therapy.

Man Keeps Mom’s Mummy in the Attic for 10 Years

In Tatarstan in central Russia, a woman died 10 years ago. Her son, some guy who felt too lazy to bury her, locked her body in the attic.

So years went by and the man became so busy that he forgot about her. Girls came and broke his heart and left. He’d spend afternoons picking his nose in his garden that undulated with daisies. There were old cows leisurely emptying their bladder in the grass. Neighbors noticed a strange smell, but who would think it was the woman’s corpse silently rotting away? So they passed by and smiled and said, “Howdy!” In Russian, of course.

Until one day, brave policemen stormed the house looking for stolen goods. What they found instead were (come on, let’s sing altogether now!): Pillows! Oilcloth! Blankets! Mummy! Yeah!

And the man lived happily ever after — but not after saying stupid things like, “I thought burying the dead was optional?”