To my left a man is attempting to swallow his girlfriend. I assume she is his girlfriend because she giggles while he plants big wet smackers on her face. The woman is in her thirties and quite attractive, except that her make-up appears to have been trowelled onto her face. If the swallower eats enough of her foundation he may clog up his throat and die.
The swallower is also in his thirties, but not attractive at all. In fact he is repulsive, his enormous pores slick with grease. He makes loud squishy noises with his mouth, like a monster rising out of a swamp.
The seat groans as the swallower shifts his corpulent mass. If girlfriend doesn’t smother under his oily bulk, she will most certainly drown in drool. Or expire from prolonged exposure to halitosis.
“Ano Ba?” the girfriend giggles. She pretends to push the swallower away.
The swallower opens his enormous mouth and looms over the girlfriend. She goes, “Heeeeheeeheee.” The swallower makes a mighty slurping noise, and the girlfriend’s head disappers into his gullet.
The Swallower belches, then he pats his enormous belly and starts picking his teeth. I dare not look at the girlfriend. What if she’s not there? What if she’s somewhere inside that belly, pickling in gastric juices?
The bus screeches to a stop. I grab my backpack and get the hell out.